commission by @alliphony on Instagram
Hi all. I have an announcement to make- I won’t be blogging anymore.
For a few months, before the start of 2021, I debated between two choices I gave myself in regards to the direction my blog would go in. The first was that I start being consistent with my work and content- to post every week and start gaining steadier traffic. After all, ever since I started my blog, many people had questions or comments about what I was doing with it, giving unsolicited advice on what I should do and how I could make $$$ because that’s what is done with many hobbies nowadays (i.e. how can I monetize this???). Part of me really wanted that, to be some sort of “influencer”, to have my words heard, to help people. I could be like my favorite youtubers or bloggers or influencers.
The second was that I let go of my blog completely. I’d been thinking about it for awhile because part of me always wanted to disappear. The thought of that was my sanctuary, but the feeling of writing and completing a post to share was satisfying as well.
There are so many ideas of what I could be. I’d spend so much time dreaming of them and note being them. In January, I chose the first option. And I tried it for a very short bit, but I quickly noticed my creativity suffering. My head went silent and stopped whispering ideas to me. I really struggle to follow the algorithm. And the last thing I’d ever want is for my writing to be a job or work. I am a storyteller, and a lot of what I write I don’t have to think about. It comes to me because it wants to be told. That is what makes writing and creation so magical.
I never started this blog for money. I never started it for any reason other than the fact that it gave me a voice. It was out of pure love for writing. It was a way to share! My pieces come sporadically, are not the length of an average blog post, can’t be forced, and are grown organically in my mind.
There’s a significant part about the writer in me that is reclusive. And to an extent, I honored that in the past few years by posting whenever I wanted. But I went against myself by following someone else’s notion of what’s right- how to write the right way. I’m not an influencer, not a blogger either- that label never felt right in the first place. And I will never be anyone other than me.
I no longer want to be anyone other than me and who I am becoming. I want to keep dreaming, but I also want to do and fully embody what it is that I want with the time that I am on this great Earth. I want rest. And I will create until the end of my days because it is part of why I came here. It’s a part of so many aspects of my life. Writing will always be a part of who I am and what I do- just not publicly anymore. Making this decision broke my heart, but at the same time opened it and what was really needed for my personal growth. Visionary Orchid is part of my identity, but it is time to part ways for now.
For those of you who supported me and read my art- thank you. I hope it touched you in some way and encourage you to keep creating in any way you can. Always do what is right for you in the moment and what feels good. Don’t settle for anything less than what YOU want.